28 7 / 2014

28 7 / 2014


Kim Kelley-Wagner has two daughters who were adopted from China. In everyday life, they have been subjected to horrid statements from people - to their faces, to their mother as they stood by her, etc. In this photo collection, shared on her blog, Kim and her daughters (Lily and Meika) put these ignorant cruelties front and center. [x]

"I have tried to explain to my daughters that people do not say these things to be mean, they say them out of ignorance, which is why I am sharing some of them. Words are powerful, they can become tools or weapons, choose to use them wisely."

(via thisiswhiteprivilege)

28 7 / 2014

28 7 / 2014

"[TW: rape] I have gotten one question repeatedly from young men. These are guys who liked the book, but they are honestly confused. They ask me why Melinda was so upset about being raped.
The first dozen times I heard this, I was horrified. But I heard it over and over again. I realized that many young men are not being taught the impact that sexual assault has on a woman. They are inundated by sexual imagery in the media, and often come to the (incorrect) conclusion that having sex is not a big deal. This, no doubt, is why the number of sexual assaults is so high."

Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak, on the question “Have any readers ever asked questions that shocked you?”

Read that again. Read it again, and again, and again. Over and over guys have asked her why Melinda was so upset about being raped. This is a girl who went to a party with friends. She was thirteen. She had a drink, because everyone else was. And a senior held her down and raped her while she was too drunk to get away.

And guys don’t understand why she was upset.

Read that again and then come back and tell me again why I should just shut up and take a joke when a comedian blows off rape as a big deal, or women’s bodies are casually treated as commodities in media. Remind me why I shouldn’t care about the very real harm that society’s treatment of women and sexual assault does.

(via witchlingfumbles)

This is why it’s so important to TEACH MEN NOT TO RAPE.

(via jaegersestra)

(Source: nosuchthingasfiction, via likestepsonthemoon)

28 7 / 2014

Salt will be the death of me.

27 7 / 2014



*in class* why do we need to know this
*in drivers ed* why do we need to know this
*reading prices at stores* why do we need to need to know this
*kim kardashian article on yahoo home page* why do we need to know this
*looking at electoral ballot* why do we need to know this
*reads protein powder nutritional information* its imperative to know how many scoops of powder I must obtain for maximum output of body mass in as little time as possible


27 7 / 2014










Apparently the black community at large frowns on this grown woman’s decision to ask her man to be her husband and I am so confused. These are the same people asking about the “state of black marriage/relationships” and…

No fucking ma’am.

This is STILL patriarchy.

But hey, lemme know if you’re fulfilled and still together in 10 years.

Why wouldn’t they be fulfilled and happy 10 years down the line? Because she asked him and not vice versa? 

Look, this don’t affect me at all, so ultimately, I don’t give a damn what two grown people in a relationship decide to do, and for the record, I DO wish these kids well, but since you asked, I’ma tell you what I think.

Y’all can be new jack and progressive and whatever the fuck you wanna call it,

But this is STILL patriarchy.

A MAN chooses a wife, not the other way around.

EVERY successful relationship I know of, the MAN asked the woman to be his wife, meaning HE said in so many words or less, “I want my time, love, affection, and resources to go to you and only you.”

Think of the finest woman you know outside yourself. 

Even SHE can’t go up to the man of her choosing and say “Be My Man.”


In patriarchy, all women are really doing is responding to men!

The onus for the initiation AND escalation-to-commitment (all levels of commitment, from the initial exclusivity to marriage) of heterosexual romantic pairings falls on THE MAN. 

If HE wanted to get married to HER, HE would have asked HER, 

Because marriage and commitment happens when the MAN is ready and not a damn minute before, and no amount of public asking is gon make him GET ready if he NOT ready.

Now, he’ll help her save face in front of all these people and say yeah, and they’ll plan a li’l something and maybe even go through with it, 

But holla at me in 10 years and tell me if they still together,

If they have more than one kid (if a man don’t really wanna be there, he’ll watch where he skeet),

If he’s pulling his emotional weight and being faithful and not approaching the marriage half heartedly, cause hey, SHE asked ME.

Again, y’all do what you want, and you call it what you want,

And you don’t have nothing to prove to me cause again, I DON’T CARE,

But I’ve been watching relationships for a LONG ass time, and this almost NEVER ends well, and in fact, USUALLY ends with the proposing woman feeling like she did ALL the work, insecure as fuck the whole relationship, wondering if he REALLY wanna be there.

But y’all go head.

^^^ well said. I usually don’t support rigid gender roles but man this I just can’t really seem to agree with, personally.

Honey, we are BLACK WOMEN at the absolute BOTTOM of our social hierarchy, with little to no voice that anybody actually listens to.

If the society we live in is still stuck on rigid gender roles, do we really have a choice but to accept them and play along?

That is, IF we want a relationship where we NOT the damn mule, pulling all the emotional weight.

27 7 / 2014











That’s why you see these men out here married to just any damn body.

Just any ol generic ass girl.


Cause she was THERE and into him, and he was familiar with her when he was READY.

Commitment and marriage happens WHEN THE MAN IS READY and not a…

I know a hand full of men who have gotten married just cause the girl was there when they were ready. One cat I know told me to my face that he didn’t love her but he saw that she had wife qualities and he was getting old so why not.

Oh, so YOU, TOO, have seen what the fuck I’m talking about firsthand, then? 

THANK, blackgeologist. 

You’re welcome. I understand what you’re saying. And I also understand you’re not directing this at all men but I have and I know men that get married just because.

NOWHERE did I say it applied to EVERYBODY.

But it applies to enough of these dudes to be valid. 

You look at him and you look at her, and you be like, “WHY did he pick HER?” 

And it’s cause she was THERE and into him when the fuck he was READY.

It’s that simple.

And when WE loved him and were into him, 

He WASN’T ready, which is why he purposely destroyed what we had, but that’s another post, lol.

What trips me out is these 18 year old children will applaud Beyonce when she sings Resentment  and act like they understand how it feels when they see a man they once loved with a woman who ain’t even HALF of you, 

But jump down my fucking throat and act like I’m speaking Greek when I say the SAME shit on tumblr. 

What you said is clear cut. People don’t like being called out on shit. In all actuality I think this can apply to a big majority of men who get married. I have enough male friends and they tell me how they feel about women in their lives. And I’ve personally been thru the exact same thing you’re talking about. This shit happens all the time. Some of y’all that don’t think it’s true need to ask ya daddy if his resentment toward y’all mama is cause he really didn’t want her or y’all. he just wanted the status of being married.

I’ma need you to stop making all this fuckin sense up on the internets. 

Cause then, we got to look at how our own parents split up cause Daddy didn’t REALLY wanna be married to Mama and only did it to prove his maturity/masculinity or cause she gave him a ultimatum and he didn’t wanna lose her right then.

I see SO many beautiful, wonderful men settling for the chick who’s THERE, because contrary to what TV told us, in real life, Dwayne does NOT go stop Whitley’s wedding and marry her. 

Shit, usually, Dwayne don’t even marry KINU! LOL

In REAL life, Dwayne marries the lightskin chick from The Pit who was nice to him after he fucked up his relationship with Kinu.

But they gon learn,

OMG, keep living babies, I swear you gon learn.

So much truth. I’ve seen it with guys I’ve dated dating girls who aren’t even a 1/3rd of me and I’ve been like, ok go ahead. And I’ve had male friends who have married or been engaged to girls and we’re all thinking “WTF are you doing?” a lot of guys get married because they want the status or convenience of marriage or just plain feel obligated to marry someone because they’ve been around for x number of years. Not a way to live for me but so many folks outchere are doing it. 

Now girl, you KNOW that ALL WIMMIN ARE EQUAL, ok? 

You not sposed to say out loud that a chick is not even a third of the woman that you are. 

You not sposed to make a difference between you and her cause WE AWL DA SAAAAAME.

Nevermind that he got with her BECAUSE she’s not as challenging as you and she’s younger and less experienced so he can actually TEACH her some shit (and his ego needs that), whereas with YOU, he had to step to you like you were EQUAL to him in experience/education,

CAUSE YOU ARE and his ego couldn’t really handle that.

Nevermind all that, just don’t say out loud that she’s not you, lol. 

And you can’t even say shit to that but, “OK, go head.” cause you can’t even be insulted, cause it’s CLEAR that he’s on some other shit with all that. 

And let’s TALK about The Status and Convenience of Marriage, because men have been raised with these gender roles and these things a wife is supposed to do. 

SOMEBODY got to cook and wash his draws and raise a baby, and well, she like me and she been here for 3 years, so I might as well marry her, even if I don’t actually love her, 

So I can prove to everybody how manly and mature I am by Getting Married. 

But I’m SLEEP.

27 7 / 2014




That’s why you see these men out here married to just any damn body.

Just any ol generic ass girl.


Cause she was THERE and into him, and he was familiar with her when he was READY.

Commitment and marriage happens WHEN THE…

27 7 / 2014


take me here on our first date


take me here on our first date

(Source: decrepitar, via africant)